Every relationship gives us new experiences, and ultimately shapes our view of the world as seen through our eyes as we go on with our lives. On a romantic scale, examining our past relationships can be as enlightening as hurtful when one has to dive back into the mind and heart to reconsider our past actions.
I have said many times that healing from the loss of relationship takes time, it takes allot of internal reflection, and its takes some courage to acknowledge our own role in the loss of love. The psychological scars we take on can live with us for the rest of our lives, or we can use the negative energy they exhibit and turn it into resolve for a better life, a new beginning or even just closing that chapter in your life.
I know that I will have a relationship with my ex-wife for the rest of my life. We have two children, for that reason alone I feel it best that as parents we find a way to put aside our differences with each other and heal those scars. Not only have I been able to allow some of those scars to heal but also to liberate my own world-view on women, on marriage and on love.
I was lucky enough to be present at the birth of both of my children; I helped deliver my daughter and was by my wife’s side when my son was born. That moment of birth, of life creation has actually helped me see women in a completely different light. The absolute miracle of giving life is the beginning of the greatest act of selflessness a human can offer.
I find myself chuckling quite a bit these days; I see differently, I have challenged my own arrogance and historical viewpoint so that I may be able to better understand those around me, especially women. After my marriage broke down I realised how little I knew about my wife, this lead me to believe that I must therefore know even less about women. I knew that I had to try and understand what got my wife to the point of no return.
Now after almost five years of separation I think I know what it takes to lose a relationship. Hard lessons to learn, life changing actually and now an ongoing resolve to question and re-question my beliefs, my thoughts, and my actions. I still carry the scars of love, but with my mind clear of depression and anxiety (most of the time anyway) I feel better equipped to tackle some of life’s other little opportunities. Be honest with yourself people, honestly it all starts with us. The repair starts inside…communicate with your heart and soul to unravel your hopelessness.