It’s a long game…

Our past is what has made us who we are, however the now is where it ends, from now on it’s all about the future.

Too many times I see people all around me in a rush, myself included!  Avoiding all the classical cliches, when struggling with your life, there is simply no substitute for time.  Time used wisely, time spent…just spent.  Learn to sit in silence, learn to breath, learn to listen, and learn to change.

Time, it’s one thing you own the currency on, it’s the one thing that gives the heart, mind and soul space to breath.

It was last weekend, I was at home on Sunday afternoon…
Like a tenor yawning for space, for air, in a vacuum, that breeze passed through me.  Leaves glancing the window, the afternoon sun casting shadows into the lounge.  I smell a roast in the oven…the house is still, filled with our lives, our possessions, emotions, our laughter and tears.  My mind wanders off to my youth, to my mum and my mates who are no longer here.  Its a miniature outpouring of emotion, but one that ends in a smile and a ‘what was that all about’ moment.  I know I am vulnerable, but I embrace it now, I let it happen and let it pour out.  Holding it is where the trouble starts…
The music is Café del Mar, my stepdaughter about to come home from her weekend at her dad’s.  My girl is working, due home in an hour, this weekend has been great – no work, just time with the girl and on the bike.  Time!

There are very few things worth taking to your grave, especially when it comes to anger.  I would much rather be taking my last breath remembering the smell of mums cooking, the touch of my girls hair, time as a child with my Pa, bush walking with my dad, or the first time I held my children, those are the key moments in time.  As for all the bad stuff, well, I feel it will pale into the distance when the time comes…

Over the past several years I have spent countless hours dissecting my world, and mining ways to improve it.  The low point being the collapse of my marriage back in 2009, the high point, every day since the middle of last year.

It was all so innocent, spend a few weeks in Germany working and then go and sit on the beach in Italy for nine days to chill.  What would ensue was a tidal wave of emotion; of ‘nope not done with you yet’ self-inflicted ass kicking’s to force myself into the next stage of recovery.  I cannot tell you how long I cried for, I can’t even tell you exactly why I was crying, but I needed to purge and the body forced it upon me.  The mind was for the most part repaired, however the body needed some love, not that sort, well maybe just a little…but healthy living love.  Some people drifted away and some new ones drifted in, to this day those new friends know little of the simple gestures, phone calls, or motivations they provided when I really needed them. The life long friends that remained stayed just that, life long friends!

Sydney Harbour

I keep saying this…learn to listen.  Start with yourself, listen very carefully to what your mind, heart and soul are telling you.  Us humans are strange; we seek comfort in routine, yet change is all around us.

It’s a long game, most of the initial issues my ex-wife and I had with being single parents have now passed.  Time, patience, compromise, and keeping the kids as the focus in what has worked for me.  There are still times that we piss each other off, that’s part of being human.  But now, time has healed most of those wounds that allows us to be  good parents for our kids.  Having compassionate partners and a core support group also helps!  Without either I would have failed…

Whether you believe in fate or not, we each owe a death, this is inescapable, and yet, despite the amount of support offered in various ways for people who are struggling, we lose people every day because time had run out.  How best do we help these people who cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore?  Is it a word, a letter, a hug, a smile or a laugh that gives them just enough to say, ‘you know what, I’ll give it one more day’!

Have a great day people, coming to you from Phillip Island, Victoria Australia….

Sydney Harbour Photo: Steven Markham Photography

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